Sunday, March 04, 2007

A partners night out - when the senior men let their hair down

We have an eclectic mix of partners at our firm.

Some are sharks who will eat you alive soon as look at you. Some are piranhas who hunt only in packs and when cornered alone just blow bubbles. Others can be as slippery as eels and contain more oil than the average whale carcass. They're the ones you have to watch

There are many good guys of course but generally you have to be careful with one's peers.

Last week we had a night out to celebrate another successful year. There is one partner who is a little leftfield and slightly odd in comparison to the rest. The clean living, tree hugging type who does yoga every morning and only eats organic. He's as stiff and as "Old Etonian" as you can get in the north of england (he didnt do Eaton but you get the picture). He's incredibly posh and clever using words like "paragon" whilst drunk to describe a tight client who wont pay his bill (I didnt know what a paragon was until I looked it up)

But on this particular night out we saw a different side to him.

We went to a cheesy niteclub and had a bit of a boogie. Pretty embarrassing really - we looked like a group of middle aged gay blokes dancing round their manbags - any decent folk around created an exclusion zone, a moat of dissociation to ensure that they werent linked with us. Whilst bopping away - who should leap on the dancefloor but Mr Tree Hugger himself. He was like a man possessed, arms all over the place, eyes wide and glazed, dancing like an octopus on acid. At first we found it quite amusing and went along with it forming a circle and clapping vigorously in support.

But then it got a little uncomfortable because, despite 3 or 4 records changes - this mad, trance-like dance just continued. Same movement, same eyes, same motion. We started drifting off, one by one to stand on the sidelines. I was sadly one of the last to move because I felt a bit sorry for the chap and tried communicating with him. This was of course impossible.

Most onlookers from the firm were now staring slackjawed and stunned into silence. Was this the same chap? had someone spiked his drink? Was he just a show off or simply trying to fit in with the group

By now he had a circle of "new" friends who were definitely not part of our group and this only encouraged him. He was the unofficial cabaret for the night.

The DJ switched to a SKA montage which totally bamboozled him and he lost his rythm. He writhed his way off the dancefloor and that was that. Conversation resumed and he rejoined the group as though nothing had happened.

This guy is senior. He is well respected and knowledgeable. The problem now is that no one can get the mental picture of him dancing like a maniac out of their head. Word got round and he was not best pleased.

Who can blame him. You have a meeting with him in attendance and refer a matter of the utmost importance - all you see is that "dance" playing over and over in your mind like a youtube clip. He's like the Numa Numa fat guy - it really did happen but he doesnt want to hear anyone talking about it.

There were a few more juicy going on that night involving sex, fighting and vomiting. But the dance is the one thing everyone is talking about

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